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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22974223">May 12th.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesperione/pseuds/Vesperione'>Vesperione</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Black Friday Fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Friday - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, black friday but a slight au, i headcanon that james' store character is also xander lee, i stand by that headcanon actually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:16:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22974223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesperione/pseuds/Vesperione</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Black Friday was always an anticipating day for everyone. For Xander Lee, especially, it was worse. But ever since May 12th 2007, things slowly went uphill. Until they didn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John McNamara/Xander Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Black Friday Fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564606</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>May 12th.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first piece since my writers block lifted wOo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Black Friday was always an anticipating day for everyone. For Xander Lee, especially, it was worse. Even if he wasn’t shopping on the specific day, which he usually wasn’t, his house was directly beside the Lakeside Mall, meaning cars were always parking around his house, confiding him to his bedroom. He closed the curtains and stayed hidden away. He knew nobody would come to see him, or even look into his house, but he didn’t want to take any risks. He was paranoid and he could never really understand why. He always remained inside the glass box that was his house; his one area of security that remained there. He tried to venture out, but if he wasn’t searching for a job, he was at home. He never liked socialising. It wasn’t his main aspect.</p><hr/><p>On May 12th 2007, Xander Lee scored a job at PEIP as a theoretical physicist. Though it wasn’t much, he was happy. He gained slight confidence and began to take more pride in himself. He often found himself trying to show off his skills whenever the General was around. He’d say he had recently been promoted after his old mentor had stepped into a portal and had since become a raving lunatic. He’d say it was because the company pitied him. He always said that he felt undeserving of the title, but Xander watched him work, and he could already tell that PEIP hadn’t pitied the man. He was stern yet loving. He toom care of each individual one of his team members. He was like the father figure for the group. He was only 21.</p><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2008, the General turned 22. Word had spread like a wildfire around the precinct, and there was talk of a party being arranged for the man. The General, however, didn’t seem particularly fond of the sudden attention he was receiving. He didn’t want money to be wasted on him. He just wanted to be there for his coworkers. After discovering the ongoing plans to arrange this party, he shut it down. He threatened that, if the plans went ahead against his orders, the people involved would be sent to the lower ranks under a different General. The party didn’t go ahead. Xander was grateful that the plans didn’t go ahead. He didn’t think he could stand being in a cramped room full of drunken adults, many possibly making regretful decisions. Xander hated parties. He was grateful for his General.</p><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2009, the General turned 23. Sudden changes appeared in his behaviour concerned the team. They all met up in the break room to discuss the matter, but nobody could understand what was going on. They all wrapped up their conversation when they heard his heavy boots thudding down the hallway. They all straightened their postures and silenced themselves. Xander didn’t need to do that. He’d been invited into the conversation, but it wasn’t as if he’d contributed to the topic anyways. When the door swung open, Xander flinched. He was angry. He was really angry. Xander had never dealt well with anger. He was talking at them, and then shouting, and then screaming. Screaming all his thoughts. Xander swore he heard his name in the string of sentences he’d screamed into his hands. Nobody seemed to notice. Nobody but him. He wanted to ask the General about it, yet he figured it was too dangerous. It was just his ears playing tricks on him. As soon as the General had left, Xander finished his break and went back to his lab. He was nearly finished with this cure. There was only a string kissing. If he worked hard enough, it should be complete by the end of the week. Xander didn’t even want to think about the testing trials.</p><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2010, Xander found the General in his office when he arrived at 5 AM. He was taken aback. This wasn’t a part of the routine. Right now, the General should be in his office drinking coffee, sending emails to the colonels. So why was the General standing in front of him? He put his increasing heartrate and sudden urge to impress down to his anxiety. The General turned around and looked at the physicist. He looked him up and down before he approached him. “Xander Lee.” He said as he met Xander’s eyes. Xander shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve taken a look at your recent reports about the new cure you’ve created?” He raised an eyebrow and looked at Xander again. He was going to get fired. He’d been exhausted when he’d written it. He didn’t want to get fired. He didn’t see the smile appear on John’s face. “It was an incredible report and I wanted to praise you in person. I may not be able to give you a promotion, but I sure as hell can give you a raise.” Xander finally lifted his eyes off the ground to face his General, who clapped Xander on the back when he left the room. Today was the General’s 24<sup>th</sup> birthday, and he was in a much better mood than he was prior. The tiniest smile formed on Xander’s face as he returned to work.</p><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2014, Xander walked into work, tired and running on coffee. For the past four years, he’d had family events. He’d had to take that specific day off from 2010 to now. He strode into work, confidence surging his veins. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was the adrenaline of seeing the General on his birthday. The General’s office was on the other side of the precinct. Xander finished the report and lifted it up. He exited his lab with the materials that were ready to be distributed amongst the infected citizens. He tapped on the door. When he was granted access, the first thing Xander noticed was the flag behind John. Not just any flag. The gay flag. Xander bit the inside of his cheek. Of course, it didn’t bother him his General was gay. It didn’t bother him the slightest. It was just incredibly unexpected. He set the files on the General’s desk and smiled as he left.</p><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2015, he’d had the day off. On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2016, he walked back into the precinct. He was 27, as was the General. They’d gotten much closer. They’d exchanged numbers about half a year ago to remain in contact outside of work. It had only taken years of his life to push past his obliviousness to realise he like the General. It was bad. It would put his courier in danger, yet he couldn’t help but imagine a future with the man. He walked back to his lab. A couple of hours after he’d started working, he heard the door open. “Good morning, sir.” Xander smiled, not needing to turn around. The sound of a chair being pulled up accompanied the reply of the General. He looked at the table, confused by Xander’s mind and how he was working. Xander wrote down another symbol and it only confused the General. Xander looked at him. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“What is that symbol supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Sir, CO3 literally means Carbonate.”</p><p>“Well, I failed Chemistry, so don’t expect me to know that.” The General shrugged. There was silence for a little before he spoke up again. “It’s my birthday.”</p><p>“Yes, it is.”</p><p>“And I’d like to take you out.”</p><p>Xander froze. “Sir, I-“</p><p>“I’m the General, yes I know. But you’re not particularly a field agent, Xander. It’ll be okay. I would like to take you on a date. Tonight.”</p><p>A pause. “Okay.”</p><p>“I’ll pick you up at 5.” The General said as he left. They became a thing that night.</p><hr/><p>On May 12<sup>th</sup> 2017, John asked Xander to move in with him. Though it seemed fast, it felt right for the two. They shared the night together. By May 12<sup>th</sup> 2018, they were married and they were happy. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Later on in the year, on Black Friday, John hadn’t let Xander go into work. Xander hadn’t understood why. Wanting to assist with the Tickle Me Wiggly situation the entirety of PEIP had been involved in, he queued up in line. When Linda Monroe approached him asking what scissors do, he panicked. He panicked until he received the cheque. He was still a theoretical physicist and got paid significantly less than his romantic counterpart. He wanted his own money. He didn’t want to constantly rely on John. When people started going crazy for the doll, he snatched one and ran and he didn’t look back.</p><p>With the cheque, he’d been planning on buying John a ring. A promise ring. One he’d been wanting to get him for months. He loved him and he wanted to share his promises in the form of an eternal band. It didn’t go to plan. He ripped off his Christmas sweater in his car and changed into his uniform. John couldn’t stop Xander from working, so Xander strode into work, hiding the doll in his sweater. He walked to John’s office and knocked. He heard John’s voice and walked in. John looked up. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”</p><p>“Nice to see you too, honey.” Xander walked forwards and sat down at John’s desk.</p><p>“I told you to stay at home!”</p><p>“I’m fully aware that was what you asked.” He said and put the doll on the table. John looked at it.</p><p>“Xander…”</p><p>“Don’t sigh at me. I want to help. And don’t you dare try and pull the physicist card. I’m doing this as your husband. I’m doing this because I love you and I don’t want you getting hurt.” He watched John take a breath. He also watched John light a cigarette. He was silent for a little while. “John? Talk to me.”</p><p>“I need to go to The Oval Office…” He said a little while after Xander. Xander’s eyes widened.</p><p>“You’re not being serious.” He said, but John didn’t react. He sighed. “And then what are you going to do?”</p><p>“Send the president into the portal.”</p><p>“John!”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“You seriously think that the only way to stop the end of the world is to send the fucking president into the portal? I’m pretty sure you remember what happened to your old mentor!”</p><p>“You said you’d never bring that up.”</p><p>“Well, I feel it’s right that I address the situation. But you know what? Go and get yourself killed. See if I’m at your funeral.” He said bitterly, rising from his chair. He heard John’s grunt of frustration, but Xander walked back to his lab.</p><p>It was only when John lost connection with the president did Xander begin to panic. “Howie? Howie!" He shouted over the radio, but he didn’t receive a reply. John shot up and Xander faced him. “John don’t you dare.” He said shakily. John put one hand on Xander’s shoulder, placing something cold in Xander’s hand. Xander’s hand closed around the object as he kissed John. John kissed back for a while before he pulled away and looked his husband in the eyes.</p><p>“Xander, I know what must be done.” He said before he ran off. The suit was lying on the desk. He should have worn the suit. After Xander failed to chase after John, he looked in his palm. John’s rings. His engagement and wedding rings were back in Xander’s possession. Tears flooded his eyes as he sat down, his free hand covering his mouth. He waited. He waited and he waited. When the president came back and John didn’t, he realised 13 years of his life were over. That chapter had finished. He couldn’t hear John. He’d never send another May 12<sup>th</sup> with him. No more “I love you’s” to each other. Just silence.</p><hr/><p>Black Friday was always an anticipating day for everyone. For Xander Lee, especially, it was worse. On the 29<sup>th</sup> November 2019, the year after John had been absorbed into the black and white, Xander locked the doors and closed the windows. He drew the curtains and placed any photo frames that showed what they once were on their front. Xander was alone, and Xander was frightened. He missed his John. And his John wasn’t making a return. Not a day went by where he didn’t blame himself. John was dead and he definitely did care. He just wished he could tell him that in person.</p>
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